How to deal with a slow eater

There comes a point in time when your toddler starts to become choosy. You may have observed this when it comes to picking out clothes to wear, toys, and even food. Perhaps it is just part of the growth gap years. It’s understandable when it comes to clothes and toys. But when it comes to food, just like in our case, it can be very frustrating.

The slow eater. We have read from online articles that a slow eating child could also mean that your toddler is a picky eater, just not in the usual way. The typical picky eater would obviously “pick” at their food, only eating what they like or what they are familiar with. The slow eater, on the other hand, is one who will take forever to eat. With our little babette, it often took one to two hours just for her to finish one meal (breakfast, lunch or dinner). She would just let the food sit in her mouth, sometimes chewing, most of the time not, and this would go on even with a constant reminder to chew the food. And just like the stories of other parents, it is frustrating. You will definitely reach the point where you would lose your patience, even if you didn’t really want to. 

The Filipino child. In the Filipino household, rice is a staple food. But we have observed that our little babette usually eats very slowly when it comes to main meals. This is usually the time that we serve rice. But when it comes to snacks, her eating pace is normal. Then again, it also depends on the viand. There are days that she eats with a normal pace, perhaps because she liked the taste, and then there are days that she would take too long in swallowing. I guess this is why they called slow eating a type of picky eating.

There are a lot of factors, as they say, as to why this is happening. It could be that the child is just not as interested in food as they are with other things. It could be control issues, the food being served, too many distractions, the food portions, company at the table, and so on. But what troubles us the most is that if we end up just ending the meal even when she’s not yet done, what would happen to her weight, nutrition intake, feeling full, and things like that. This simply cannot go on forever. We love our little babette and we want what is best for her. But our patience, my patience, can only tolerate so much.

We searched online to see what worked for others and we tried them. Although the slow eating hasn’t changed much, there is some improvement. And it has helped us keep our patience below the “I lost my patience” zone.

•    Minimizing snacks to once in the morning and another in the afternoon. This could also be just one healthy snack per day. Meals should also be spaced at three to four hours apart.

•    Set the time limit and then if the meal is still unfinished, remove the plate and explain to the child that this will be his/her “snack” for the morning or afternoon. In our case, breakfast usually becomes her morning snack if she wasn’t able to finish her meal.

•    No distractions such as TV or toys. In some cases, this is easier said than done. Our dining table isn’t close to our living room (where the TV is). So we usually end up just listening to the TV or not watching TV until after meals. But on some (I repeat, some) days, we eat in front of the TV. Toys, however, are set aside and we explain to her that she can play with them after she finishes her food.

•    We try as much as possible to give her the right sized portions. Most of the time, these are just small portions. But she doesn’t seem to complain about getting hungry.

•    Positive encouragement always makes her smile. So whenever she finishes a meal, we give positive remarks. Although we still have to remind her to chew her food, it’s not as frequent as before.

•    Don’t leave them to eat by themselves. Even if you’re done and have so much other work to do, be with them at the table. You can eat with them, talk in between or simply accompany them as they try and finish their food. Leaving them at the table will not only seem lonely, it will also make them lose more interest in chewing or finishing their meal.

In all cases, make sure that you talk to your child as to why this has to be done. You can tell them that food has to be put away after meals and that the sooner she finishes her food, the more time she has for playing or some other activity. We have tried the timer but this somehow doesn’t work for us. She just became curious of the ticking object and did not mind the time warning at all. We have also tried the “taking away of privileges” technique (no dessert, no TV, no tablet, etc.) but this also didn’t work for us. She would just end up agreeing to no TV or no tablet or to whatever you said you will “take away.”

Our nanny once told us that this could also be due to our child not yet being dewormed. Although we haven’t given our little babette any deworming medications yet, we don’t know if this is true or not. You can try asking about this to your doctor. We’ll just update this post if we see any changes after deworming.

Some things may work for you and some may not. It’s okay. Not all children are alike. Over time, you’ll figure out what works for your slow eater and how to keep your sanity. But if this is worrying you too much or if you believe your child isn’t getting the nutrition he/she should be getting, talk to your doctor and ask them what you can do.